Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Giving Your Friends Advice with LOVE!




Everyone has that friend that comes to you for advice when they are hurt and broken, but after you put a lot of energy into giving your long speech about how to fix their problem and how Jesus loves them, it goes in one ear and out of the other. Right?

When you are in your flesh, it can make you angry. It can make you want to even say, “You know, what don’t call telling me your problems anymore! You don’t listen!”
It can be very tempting, but it would definitely run him/her off and he or she will never talk to you again. How will you share Christ then? It tells you in 1 Corinthians 3:6-9 that your concern should not be whether your friend takes your advice, your concern should be that you are giving he or she the correct advice.

You are planting a seed, and it is not up to you to make it grow. God gives the increase. So, the next time you have the feeling that you want to quit on a friend because you don’t see any change, think about how God will never give up on you. In Hebrews 13:5 it said NEVER will He leave YOU nor forsake you. If that is what God thinks about you, then I’m sure you can find it somewhere in your heart to not give up on your friend. Think like Jesus who DIED on the cross for you and gave you salvation. Philippians 2:5 says, (KJV says it beautifully) “Let this mind be in you which is also in Christ Jesus” or in more simple terms (NIV) “ Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus.”

Don’t misunderstand me. Don’t give up on your friend but, don’t consume yourself in his or her problems” No! You have one purpose and that is to demonstrate Christ. So if you are running off with your friend to go burst Ray Ray‘s windows out of his car because he cheated on her, then you are becoming consumed. If you were happy when you got on the phone with your friend and when you get off the phone, you are mad and can’t go on with your day because of her problem ,which you cant fix , you are becoming consumed.

If you cannot give advice without becoming consumed, I suggest you go back into your prayer closet and ask God to further prepare you for that task. By no means should you jeopardize your relationship with Christ.

I say that because you know Christ. You know that He will fix the problem, so why let those negative spirits jump on you and then you run out and go off on the bag boy at Piggly Wiggly (I’m from a small town lol).

I once had a friend who came to me about her guy very often. He would do some of the meanest things that clearly said “I don’t care about you.” She would come to me and every time I was there, angry at him. I would give her these long speeches and it seemed like she would take my advice. She needed that attention at the time. Of course she went right back to him and there I would be angry at her for taking him back and I found myself holding grudges against him. (We can sometimes hold grudges and we may not realize it at the time. Ask God to search you and reveal anything that is unlike him.) By getting angry and allowing it to become a grudge I put myself into trouble. 

Heather Lindsey, founder of the Pinky Promise Foundation and author of Pink Lips and Empty Hearts, always says your heart grows things and she is indeed correct. The smallest things will sprout into something bigger.

Anyway, I had to remove myself from the position of advice giving until God further built my spirit up to stand against the things I would encounter with it. I didn’t just stop answering her phone calls, but I prayed before I spoke to her and I just listened. That’s all she wanted anyhow. She didn’t always want advice. She needed me to listen and to tell her that it was injustice. Even if I had to tell her, “I’ll call you back” that’s what I did, but I could no longer allow myself to become consumed.

I was on my face telling God to give me what to say to her because I knew that as a Christian I was entitled to bear fruit (see fruit of the spirit: Galatians 5:22-23) so that she and others could pull from my tree (see Matthew 21:18-22 when Jesus curses the fig tree.) God started revealing things to me like the scripture I mentioned earlier (1cor 3:6-9).

So there is nothing wrong with admitting that you can’t handle the heat, just make sure you go back into your closet and let God make you fireproof. Be patient, it is a virtue. Also, know that your strength is worthless compared to God’s (1 Cor 1:25) and that when you are talking to your friend, you should always consult the spirit. The Holy Spirit won’t allow you to get angry with him or her, It naturally carries those fruit and It will guide you through it.

Be prayerful and keep the faith,
Keke Rockette
This is me and one of my ABC's on our Youtube Show "The SahKe Show". Go check it out! @sahke12
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