Everyone has that
friend that comes to you for advice when they are hurt and broken, but after
you put a lot of energy into giving your long speech about how to fix their
problem and how Jesus loves them, it goes in one ear and out of the other.
Right?
When you are in
your flesh, it can make you angry. It can make you want to even say, “You know,
what don’t call telling me your problems anymore! You don’t listen!”
It can be very
tempting, but it would definitely run him/her off and he or she will never talk
to you again. How will you share Christ then? It tells you in 1 Corinthians
3:6-9 that your concern should not be whether your friend takes your advice, your
concern should be that you are giving he or she the correct advice.
You are planting a
seed, and it is not up to you to make it grow. God gives the increase. So, the
next time you have the feeling that you want to quit on a friend because you
don’t see any change, think about how God will never give up on you. In Hebrews
13:5 it said NEVER will He leave YOU nor forsake you. If that is what God
thinks about you, then I’m sure you can find it somewhere in your heart to not
give up on your friend. Think like Jesus who DIED on the cross for you and gave
you salvation. Philippians 2:5 says, (KJV says it beautifully) “Let this mind
be in you which is also in Christ Jesus” or in more simple terms (NIV) “ Your
attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus.”
Don’t misunderstand
me. Don’t give up on your friend but, don’t consume yourself in his or her
problems” No! You have one purpose and that is to demonstrate Christ. So if you
are running off with your friend to go burst Ray Ray‘s windows out of his car
because he cheated on her, then you are becoming consumed. If you were happy
when you got on the phone with your friend and when you get off the phone, you
are mad and can’t go on with your day because of her problem ,which you cant fix ,
you are becoming consumed.
If you cannot give
advice without becoming consumed, I suggest you go back into your prayer closet
and ask God to further prepare you for that task. By no means should you
jeopardize your relationship with Christ.
I say that because
you know Christ. You know that He will fix the problem, so why let those
negative spirits jump on you and then you run out and go off on the bag boy at
Piggly Wiggly (I’m from a small town lol).
I once had a friend
who came to me about her guy very often. He would do some of the meanest things
that clearly said “I don’t care about you.” She would come to me and every time
I was there, angry at him. I would give her these long speeches and it seemed
like she would take my advice. She needed that attention at the time. Of course
she went right back to him and there I would be angry at her for taking him
back and I found myself holding grudges against him. (We can sometimes hold
grudges and we may not realize it at the time. Ask God to search you and reveal
anything that is unlike him.) By getting angry and allowing it to become a grudge
I put myself into trouble.
Heather Lindsey,
founder of the Pinky Promise Foundation and author of Pink Lips and Empty
Hearts, always says your heart grows things and she is indeed correct. The
smallest things will sprout into something bigger.
Anyway, I had to
remove myself from the position of advice giving until God further built my
spirit up to stand against the things I would encounter with it. I didn’t just
stop answering her phone calls, but I prayed before I spoke to her and I just
listened. That’s all she wanted anyhow. She didn’t always want advice. She
needed me to listen and to tell her that it was injustice. Even if I had to
tell her, “I’ll call you back” that’s what I did, but I could no longer allow
myself to become consumed.
I was on my face
telling God to give me what to say to her because I knew that as a Christian I
was entitled to bear fruit (see fruit of the spirit: Galatians 5:22-23) so that
she and others could pull from my tree (see Matthew 21:18-22 when Jesus curses
the fig tree.) God started revealing things to me like the scripture I
mentioned earlier (1cor 3:6-9).
So there is nothing
wrong with admitting that you can’t handle the heat, just make sure you go back
into your closet and let God make you fireproof. Be patient, it is a virtue. Also, know that your strength is worthless compared to God’s (1 Cor 1:25) and that when you are talking to your friend, you should always consult the spirit. The
Holy Spirit won’t allow you to get angry with him or her, It naturally carries
those fruit and It will guide you through it.
Be prayerful and
keep the faith,
Keke Rockette
This is me and one of my ABC's on our Youtube Show "The SahKe Show". Go check it out! @sahke12
Follow me on twitter @dasingababy and my instagram @dasinga
Thanks for your support!
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